Alex (xalleycat17x) wrote,

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its weird that this is called "livejournal"
so im supposed to use it as a journal.
but i never really do.
all i do is post pictures. thats no journal.

i fail at livejournal.


i looked at all my entries and the last time i actually wrote a real post about "how i was feeling" was in february
and all it said was that i had a temp of 103

i guess overall i've been doing good. confusion with what i want to do with my life. theres nothing that i'm insanely good at or anything. and nothing that i have a passion for that i could actually make a job out of. [aka photography.]
so i dont know what im gunna do. i might go to iowa state next fall. i'd go to iowa, but i dont wanna leave my sister and family behind. i'd feel bad. but i know i'd like it better there. ive never really liked ames.
and i dont want to move to iowa because that'd also mean i'd be far away from mal.
would it be worth it?

me n mal have been dating for about... 10 months? and we're still goin strong.
which is scary in and of itself.
take malachi out of the picture and i would be so happy dating no one. i've never been on my own in life. living somewhere without a significant other and without parents. it seems like thats what i should do. but at the same time me and mal work so well, better than i ever thought possible actually.
i'd have to say he's the first boyfriend that i've had who actually treats me like a human being. [the worst at this was andy, by far.]

so to basically sum up this "journal" entry. i really dont know where i am right now or where i want to be. this is the same place i have been for years. some things never change.

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